How to control your kids when you feel like you’re losing it yourself!

Are you finding yourself telling your kids to smarten up while making your own dumb mistakes?

I think if we’re honest, we’d admit we’re all doing that more than usual right now! Everyone is struggling to maintain control of their emotions while so many everyday things are now out of our control.

Parenting isn’t for wimps! Let’s face it, parenting is hard. It’s even harder when:

  • you’re stressed
  • your partner is stressed
  • you don’t have a partner and you’re doing it all alone
  • your partner is busy and away a lot so you still feel all alone
  • the kids are stressed
  • stressful events happen
  • finances are scarce or unpredictable
  • you can’t get a break and have some downtime to rejuvenate
  • you can’t get someone else to watch the kids for a little while
  • you have extra responsibilities and pressures on you – like HOMESCHOOLING!!!

The list could go on and on, and usually we only have to deal with a few of these things at one time. Unfortunately, we have a situation right now that is combining all of these together into a toxic stew!

For many families, the compounding effect of these elements mixed together may be causing some pretty unhealthy thoughts, emotions and actions in both the parents and the children! Relationship dynamics are being stretched and sometimes broken! When we lose self-control and do or say things we know we shouldn’t, or stop doing the things we know we should, we start to feel guilt and shame which can make the mess even worse!

Exercising Mind Control – No I don’t mean hypnosis – though that could be handy…

I’m not saying we need to develop Jedi powers of mind control, or learn mass hypnosis over your household. I’m talking about gaining control over the control-tower of your life, and teaching your kids to do the same. You have the power to control your own thoughts and what goes into, and stays, in your mind.

Neuroscience shows that thoughts create emotions, which lead to beliefs, behaviors, and habits. Many times we can’t control our emotions. It’s hard to create them when we want them, and to stop them once we have them. The good news is that you can control the things that causes them – your thoughts! You can do it and teach your children to do it too. You can exercise self-control over your actions by reverse-engineering them!

Stop and examine the emotions behind your actions, and then dig further to the thoughts or story that is creating them.
Replace those unhelpful thoughts with ones that will benefit you instead.

There are many things we can’t control right now. None of us likes to feel out of control. Things are unsure, but there is good news! There is one thing you can control, and teach your children to control, that will help everyone cope better in this difficult situation. You can control your own thoughts!

The Battle We Need to Fight So We Aren’t Fighting Each Other

There are some areas we need to get tougher in, and others where we need to be more gentle, patient and kind. We need to develop mental resiliency and become better at fighting negative thoughts. We need to get tougher with the fear-based stories behind the emotions and actions that aren’t helpful to us or our kids.
We also need to  be gentler,  more patient and understanding with ourselves and each other, and work on fighting the root of the issue more than dealing with the fruits, which are the negative behaviors.

A Training Tool that Helps You All Win!

I’ve created a very impactful resource that helps remind adults and show kids that they have the power over their own thoughts, which leads to self-control and success in life. It’s a little book called, I’m the Thinker of My Thoughts.

Everyone who has read it loves it and comments on what a powerful message it contains. Usually the parents tell me how much they needed to be reminded of the truths in it even more than their kids did!

It’s available now in hard cover, eBook and audio and video versions, and also has a workbook that helps kids solidify the concepts. Although it is based on timeless concepts, I believe it is a book for such a time as this.


Thanks for reading. I really hope this article inspired you.

Your fellow ‘Thinker’, 🙂

Posted in Mind Matters, Parenting.

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